There are plenty of aptly named Xbox Live Indie titles in the Marketplace: I Made a Game With Zombies In It, You Will Die, etc. However, Impossible Shoota is so far from the truth, it’s rather laughable.
The game is nothing more than a top down shooter similar to Asteroids. You’re shooting increasingly harder monsters in an attempt to kill all 500 that invade your screen at such a slow pace your 80 year old geriatric grandmother could beat it. In fact, there’s nothing impossible about Impossible Shoota at all, unless we’re counting the task of finding fun in the game,
The variety of enemies and artwork are about the only things this game has going for it. Aside from that, it’s just another thumb rotating bore-fest of “holy crap why did I pay for this?” In fact, I’ve compiled a handy list of things you could spend a buck on and get more enjoyment out of than Impossible Shoota:
- McDonald’s Cheeseburger
- Song on iTunes
- A five-finger knuckle shuffle from Sean Patrick Carey
To put things into perspective, the last time I had this much chagrin for a game was when I saw that the Yaris game Toyota put out was free. I was young, innocent, unassuming, and fresh to Xbox LIVE. It pains me to say that I played Yaris. Yes, I even have an achievement in that horrible monstrosity passed off as a game.
Consider Impossible Shoota a Yaris 2.0. Yaris: Reloaded. Yaris: The Yarising. Whatever stupid movie sequel title you want to append, take this away from my experience: This game and every thing about it blows harder than a Taiwanese hooker.
The twin thumbstick shooter has been done to death on the marketplace. The only thing that could make this game worse, is if it included zombies to shoot. Now, you may be asking, what makes this game any different from a game like I Made A Game With Zombies In it!?
The answer is hilarity. Zombies doesn’t take itself seriously. Hell, the song in zombies is worth the $1 even if you get sick of the boring thumbstick shooter game play. Sadly, Impossible Shoota has no such gimmicks to keep it interesting, so there’s absolutely no reason to plunk down 80 points on it.
Aside from flitting around the screen and avoiding entirely predictable enemies, you’ll be subjected to horrifyingly repetitive ’80s arcade music for the duration of your game. Since there really is no challenge in defeating the game and you get a code for the developer’s OTHER Xbox Live indie title once you complete it, Impossible Shoota feels more like a gimmicky marketing trick than a game.
Horrible game play and music aside, if you don’t mind paying a buck for some pretty space ships shooting things at you at a snail’s pace, then you might like Impossible Shoota for about five minutes before you delete the game from your hard drive and pretend you didn’t just waste a buck.
There are other more deserving games on the Xbox Indie marketplace to spend a buck on, so do yourself a favor and pass up Grandma’s Got a Raygun.. err.. Impossible Shoota.
Gamer Limit gives Impossible Shoota a 3/10.