[Hello and welcome to The Week in News: your premier news roundup delivered to you by Gamer Limit every Sunday.]
This week we take a trip to Japan, a land of scary cartoons and, more importantly, where a certain game show took place – I am referring, of course, to the almighty Tokyo Game Show.
So join me as I sift through this momentous event, along with everything else that happened during the past week in the world of gaming. Sitting comfortably?
Before we head over to Tokyo, I feel that I need to make an urgent appeal to everyone about a poor deprived console that is in desperate need of a home, for it seems that our cruel world is not going to be too welcoming to the arrival of Sony’s newborn child, the PSP Go. The miniature console hasn’t even escaped Sony’s wretched womb, and yet the unloving EB Games Australia has refused to even stock it. They aren’t the only adoptive parents to refuse it, either. Funny that, but then I did warn you.
Honestly, only a mother could love this child. Not only is it an embarrassing eyesore, but it is already squabbling over its food by stubbornly rejecting our wholesome collection of UMDs. Still, Sony are already in the process of constructing a tacky looking virtual house for the lost console – but can you adopt a PSP Go and provide it with the tender love and care it really needs?
Ok, now that’s out of the way let’s get onto some real news. Everyone’s favourite Fisher Price toy, the Wii, received a healthy price cut this week, and can now be yours for $199, which was coincidentally announced right after both Microsoft and Sony dropped the price of their creations.
Gran Turismo 5 is every racing enthusiast’s embodiment of a wet dream, so you can only imagine my despair when I learnt that it won’t be in my decrepit hands until March 2010. March 2010? Perhaps I will freeze myself in the hope of speeding up time.
Polyphony’s racing sim continued to dominate this week after its damage system was shown in more graphic detail, which was encouraging. Furthermore, a pornographic film featuring a Ferrari and GT5‘s ridiculously realistic graphics surfaced onto the Internet, but, not to be outdone, Forza 3 also made its own sensual film which did little to fan the fanboy flames.
The Playstation’s new Motion controller also took centre stage at the Tokyo Game Show, as Sony were keen to remind us of its existence. Not only will it allegedly be available next spring, but a whole plethora of supported games were announced, including LittleBigiPlanet and Ape Escape. Ah I remember Ape Escape back in the ancient PS1 days where bagging monkeys was one of life’s most simple pleasures. The latest design of the controller also showed how it has progressed since E3 – I didn’t know Sony made electric erasers?
In other news, Second Life has wasted many innocent lives but now it also turns out that those who spend hours encaged in their virtual lives have huge disposable incomes – $1 billion worth, in fact.
Some juicy news now, as it looks as if Sony will not be best pleased with SEGA after they leaked a top secret document that detailed Sony’s plans to release every available PS2 game onto the PSN for download. So now we know that you can’t trust SEGA to keep a secret. Speaking of sharing, in a statement of good will Netflix decided to spread their joy to everyone, by hinting that their video streaming service will be making its way onto other consoles besides the selfish Xbox 360.
Evidently, you can’t get enough of sequels at the moment, because Bioshock 2 was also issued with a release date along with Assassins Creed II for the DS and the New Super Fat Italian Plumber for the Wii. Sadly however, as if I wasn’t already reeling from GT5’s release date, newcomer Blur failed to make the party on time and was delayed until sometime next year. Bah.
A good Week in News post wouldn’t be complete without the odd trailer or two, which is why I can treat you to some newly released spectacles of The Last Guardian and the animated debut of Halo Legends, although I for one will be shielding my eyes from the scary scary anime.
If you fancy yourself as a Street Fighter fanboy then your life will be incomplete until you pick up this unique piece of tat.