So yeah, Chad Warden was right, albeit a little inaccurate in terms of timing. The PlayStation 3 (PS3), or PS-Triple, has finally come around all guns blazing, releasing a trimmed down version of the console for a more affordable price. For those who’ve decided to join the bulimic party, we’ve compiled a list of games that you should get cracking with, or alternately urinate on before they burn your eyes.
Here’s a list dedicated to you, Chad!
Extra DualShock 3
You need another one of these, it’s pretty much self-explanatory. No second controller, no offline multiplayer. And yes, this is the DualShock 3. It vibrates.
Any Bluetooth headset will do, but the one pictured above may make you feel more like a badass once you load up a shooter to play over on PSN. Be warned; despite less pre-pubescent screams than that of Xbox Live, expect limited use of the English jargon and typical trash-talking from your opponents online.
There’s a simple way to explain this. If you want to show off your new, sexy, Slim to your friends in the best possible way, you’ll need an HDTV and HDMI cable to maximize what’s on the screen. In other words, buy the cable first before you order the pizza.
Now you’re all set with the pre-requisites, pick up a few of the games listed below and bask in all its gaming glory. One word of advice though, try to avoid the games we tell you to avoid, we really do mean it. There’s nothing worse than loading up a stinker as you try to convince your friends that the PS3 was worth it.
A Sony exclusive Xbox 360 fanboys love to hate, inFAMOUS is one of the most electrifying (pun intended) sandbox games we’ve played to date. Similar to Prototype in terms of a superhero-centred story, inFAMOUS excels in a tightly written narrative not seen in its competitor. A cool protagonist, epic boss battles, imaginative superpower skills and a Karma system all help to create a brag-worthy title. If you’re looking for the first PS3 exclusive to get into, buy this one.
Justify your purchase of a PS3 Slim with Sackboy’s game, and convince your girlfriend it’s actually worth it. LittleBigPlanet, a puzzle platformer exclusive, is a cute, creative, and well-executed journey through some of the most flamboyant worlds you’ll ever jump, dance and swing in. While you play on a 2D platform, the detailed 3D visuals make the inspiring locales a pleasure to traverse in. Co-operative play in any game has always been a plus and LBP’s no different. Snap up two controllers, kick back and enjoy the charming ride with up to three of your friends.
Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune
Though nothing’s quite as good as a down and dirty Megan Fox begging you to clean her up with Colgate, Nathan Drake’s adventure in HD comes mighty close. Throw in all of the set pieces seen in Hollywood cinema; sprinkle a bit of Indiana Jones and a ‘roided up Lara Croft while stirring it into a giant melting pot. You can’t go wrong with Uncharted. The way the flora sways in El Dorado, the seeping rays of the sun and glistening waters are what pushes Drake’s adventure from a generic flick to a memorable piece of entertainment.
Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots
Being a huge fan of the Metal Gear series is irrelevant; this decision remains unanimous. One of the greatest games ever made, you can hold your chin up high and revel in the fact that your Xbox 360 friends will never see the light of perfected storytelling in a videogame medium. Forget Mass Effect, the final chapter in the legendary saga tells an amazingly poignant tale other games could only dream of. There’s no such thing as gaming perfection, but Snake’s grand swan song comes damn close.
Despite the fact that it’s one of the more underrated PS3-exclusives, Heavenly Sword is still one of the finest hack’n’slashers you can get your grubby, Pizza-ridden paws on. Not one to usually grab the Vaseline for videogame characters, I can’t deny that Nariko, the game’s heroine, is pretty damn attractive for a pixel-made character. If you fancy an over-the-top plot, mindless battles against good old medieval tyranny, and some of the most ridiculous characters ever seen in a videogame, look no further. The game’s a little short to warrant the full $60, but Ninja Theory’s finest hour might be the most compelling all-nighter you’ll pull all year.
The Punisher: No Mercy
Don’t fall for the whole Marvel facade, No Mercy unfortunately looks a little lame and plays even worse. The main reason you’ll be considering to even peek at its PSN description will be because of the game’s multiplayer. In the event that you actually decide to purchase this title, never open up Pandora’s Single Player Box. Once unleashed upon your eyes, there’s no telling what atrocities will feed on your soul. Unless you’re really, really hardcore and live life on the edge, avoid this pile of lameness. For those that are truly edgy; wear a pair of thick, black goggles and hope that your eyeballs won’t incinerate right before your very goggles.
Resistance: Fall of Man
I know; what have I done? Have no fear; I’m pretty sure Gamer Limit’s credibility won’t soon crumble to the gravelled ground due to my oh-so-big mistake. Sure, Resistance was a flagship title when the PS3 was first released, but given the advances in technology, wider range of FPS titles out there and the game’s release date, we can do much better than Resistance in this day and age. The textures are duller than stale, mouldy bread, while the gunplay severely needs an injection of super morphine. Yeah, I said it. This, without doubt, isn’t the PS3-exclusive you should show to your friends.
There you have it. This is by no means a complete list, but it’ll definitely kickstart your weekend as you caress that bulimic, black thing you just bought for $500 AUD. Choose the right games, use the proper peripherals and above all else, shop smart.
Though Metal Gear Solid 4’s arguably the greatest videogame ever and is worth your $100 AUD, you can definitely pick it up for half the price. The same rule applies to everything listed, so get going with the PS-Triple and start baaallinnn’ (note: both NSFW). Go on, make Chad Warden proud, who cares about ‘Gaylo 3’ when you’ve got Killzone 2. There you go, there’s another game to add to the list. Madness!