Whenever I think about Project Natal, it emits wavelengths that my brain determines to be a threat, and it sends a tremor of skepticism down my spine.  You see, something like Project Natal has the capability of completely changing interactive entertainment, and bringing it, as Wolfmother says, “into another dimension.”  What I’m worried about, which all of you should be, is that Project Natal is going to be reduced to nothing but Mario Party, the console.

The biggest indicator that their, I guess present, plans to use Project Natal is in the little demo video they showed us.  No, not Milo.  That’s a different monster.  I’m talking about the one with the all too excited family.  Everything they showed was (I know its early) garbage.  The one that really frustrated me was the martial arts video.  If the camera is translating your moves exactly, then your skill is going to be determined by your actual fighting ability. 

Did you see that kid?  First off, he is in-shape and obviously knows how to kick better than most other kids.  On top of that, how the hell would you program an AI to adjust to someone with infinite choices in terms of combat tactics.  You don’t, you limit the choices the player can make. They will have to tell the camera to detect certain movements, such as left and right or high and low, and instead of getting an actual fighting experience, you get Wii controls… without the controller.

Project Natal, and all other motion controls, are going to re-define “button pressing.”  Think about it.  When you swing the Wii-mote left you could say that is an A button.  Swinging it right would constitute the B button.  You get the picture.  This further expands the capabilities of the controller.  Natal, bless its little heart, is creating a controller that exists around you, rather than in front of you.  If they really want to push full body motion control, try thinking about how you would move.  Would you shift your feet?  Motion with your hands?  To turn in a first person shooter would require voice commands or, god forbid, actually twisting your body.  Stand up right now, act like you are aiming a weapon at the screen, then twist your body to the left or right and keep looking straight with the “gun” pointed forward.  Don’t worry, I’ll wait.

That hurts, right!?  By the way…I’m not liable for any serious damage that occurred in that test.

It’s possible I can’t wrap my head around how everything will work.  It’s like thinking about second and third dimensions merging together.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want Project Natal to fail.  I just don’t think it’s going to be what everyone thinks its going to be.  Look at Milo.  Yes, it’s creepy.  Yes, it’s groundbreaking.  But, who the HELL wants a god damn virtual friend!  The only thing that video showed us is how awesome their voice recognition and *shudder* image recognition is.  But, what if you have a raspy voice or can’t draw for shit?  It will be like calling fandango and asking to see the show times for a certain movie, and the stupid ass female voice keeps telling you, “I’m sorry, I didn’t get that.”  Everything was a demo test that was built to make it look like it was the second coming of Christ, and isn’t.

Project Natal is a huge step forward, but they need to show us something a little more substantial than mini-games and virtual friends.  Let me throw hadokens for Christ’s sake.  Or draw battle plans for an RTS.  Personally, the first thing I’m going to do is draw a penis for Milo because that’s exactly how I feel about everything so far.  I want to see what this contraption can actually do, when I know it has the capabilities to do it, rather than watch something I have already seen before polished up.

Ok, the menu scrolling reminded me of Minority Report and was awesome…but that’s the only thing I’m giving it!!!

These views are solely of the writer and do not represent the opinions of Gamer Limit and its subsidaries.