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The elephant may be rampaging but that doesn’t mean I know what to write.

If a giraffe was to attack a cantaloupe, would it split? That is something I’m often concerned about. More so what if an echidna was to tap dance with a troupe of tap dancing elephants, would it’s taps be distinguishable from the sound of an elephants taps? Probably not, but does that mean it should stop tap dancing or should it try enjoying tap dancing for the sake of tap dancing?

This question makes me think of a point I often muse on: what if some awesome games, weren’t awesome games, but were awesome movies instead. Like Star Wars was never Star Wars but maybe Gear Wars, like in the following awesome image I did.



Which finally brings me to the gist of my rant (if I can call it that), if a gamer couldn’t game, are movies/tv shows an equal substitute? Okay I realize that might not make a lot of sense, so I’ll elaborate… Say you have a 40 hour JRPG that you are dying to play through, but due to circumstances out of your control you can no longer game,  would a Japanese anime series be an equally valued substitute for a JRPG? As I dare to answer my own questions, I would say yes.

A decent anime could easily trump a JRPG in pure entertainment value on a per second basis. Why spend hours dicking around, going through the motions of the grind, leveling and collecting items… when instead you could just plop yourself down on the couch, grab some Green Chicken Curry and watch through Record of Lodoss War for the X time.
When you look at the end state the difference of watching something rather then playing something is minimal, both end with equally worthless outcomes, but at least with watching an anime you don’t have to worry about it supporting co-op play, getting stuck or it just being too damn difficult.

Next, lets play the hypothetical game with Mr. Colin, and compare a classic action movie: say Die Hard to a very recent respected action game… hmm, lets say inFamous. Which would you value higher on an entertainment scale? Lets make a pro con’s list!

Die Hard


Has Bruce Willis in it.
$5-ish to buy on DVD.
Able to watch with as many people as you can fit in the room.
Very re-watchable film.
Graphics are photo realistic!
No annoying sidequests.
It’s awesome.


Only lasts 131 minutes



Hours and hours of gameplay.
Decent Story line.
Lightning powers


Currently a lot more expensive then an old dvd.
Graphics aren’t up to movie standard.
Has more then a few things that are un-fun.
Repetitive sidequests.
Can only play by yourself.

…You tell me, which sounds more appealing Bruce Willis or lightning powered Cole? Well, I’ll tell you, in my very a-matter-of-fact voice: ‘I think we all know the answer’.

To conclude, why tap dance when you don’t need to.

Awesome Count: 5
This soapbox has been written as a non-serious piece of creative writing, if you take any of the facts, points or claims seriously you probably should go join the tap dancing elephant troupe.

  1. Bruce Willis>most of the action “heroes” in gaming, including the dry Marcus Fenix.

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