Gamer Limit Banner


It seems that the very well recieved PC RPG title “The Witcher” will be soon be appearing in handheld form. Developer CD Projekt RED sends a (pretty amusing) word that their planned spinoff, entitled “The Witcher: Mysterious Secrets”, will be coming to a current-gen, next-gen and gen-after-next-gen handheld systems.

Ok, so, it’s obviously an April Fools prank, but they’ve done a pretty good job creating an 8-bit version. Take a look after the jump.

“Warsaw, Poland – April 1, 2009.
Today CD Projekt RED, the world’s leading developer of games with “The Witcher” in their title, announced its first internally-developed foray into handheld gaming, The Witcher: Mysterious Secrets. The game is in development for all current-gen, next-gen and gen-after-next-gen handheld systems and is scheduled for release between Tuesday and Friday 2010.

A jaw-dropping revolution in handheld gaming, The Witcher: Mysterious Secrets features a massive list of revolutionary features that will completely revolutionize, then de-evolutionize, then evolutionize and then once more revolutionize the industry. Among the revolutionary features are two cooperative multiplayer modes never before seen on handheld systems: play together with your friend on one system as you harness Geralt’s awesome Powers of Movement on the D-pad while your friend uses the awesome Powers of Doing on the A and B buttons; or connect with a limitless number of players as you play for a bit, then pass the handheld to your friend and watch them play for a while, and then finally take it back to play some more yourself!

The awe-inspiring graphics created using half of the game engine’s available 32 colours help to immerse players in the awe-inspiring story of Geralt of Rivia as he fights to save the world from an unknown evil. Set in a completely open world that allows for movement in both left and right directions for an infinite amount of time, The Witcher: Mysterious Secrets also includes some features usually found in today’s best console games, like the Decisions and Inconsequence system that ensures that no decision you make will have an impact on the outcome of the game. That’s right – no more worrying about making bad decisions. We’ll also have DLC at astronomical prices, including the upcoming “The Witcher: Go Up and Down” pack. Yeah, DLC on a handheld. You wanna fight about it?”

I know I don’t want to fight about it.


  1. avatar Alex

    Nice done, still a fake

  2. Agreed, it was a pleasant minute and a half

  3. Prefer the Marvel Ultimate Alliance april fools, Aunt May as a playable character.

  4. That music was amazing.

Leave a Reply